Good Thinking

Pudding vending machine tells kids to scram

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A new sampling machine for Jell-O Temptations scans consumers for their age and blocks children from receiving treats
A new sampling machine for Jell-O Temptations scans consumers for their age and blocks children from receiving treats
A new sampling machine for Jell-O Temptations scans consumers for their age and blocks children from receiving treats

Let's say you had a sweet dessert that you wanted to market specifically to adults. Now to spice things up, let's say you're also a Scooby Doo villain and can't stop wringing your hands over all the "meddling kids" who are going to ruin your campaign trying to steal delicious treats from your intended audience. Well, what can you do about it? Make a vending machine that detects the age of its users and tells any approaching children to get lost? Apparently yes, as Kraft Foods has introduced a new machine that scans a person's face to determine their age and dispenses free samples of their Jell-O Temptations dessert only to adults.

When over $1 billion is being sunk into food sampling each year, companies want to make sure the product is reaching the right customer. To that end, Kraft Foods is rolling out a new sampling machine in Chicago and New York City to distribute its pudding-like Jell-O Temptations desserts that can detect whether the customer is a child or a grown-up. Developed by Intel, the machine uses a special camera to scan a person's face to measure features such as the distance between eyes and ears and determine their age. If it detects a child, it shuts down and asks the child to move aside for a more deserving adult, basically acting as a cold, unfeeling stand-in for every child's mother. No word on whether the machine advises children to "come back when you're older, kid" or "when you get a job, you can have all the pudding you want."

A new sampling machine for Jell-O Temptations scans consumers for their age and blocks children from receiving treats

Kraft's goal of course is to ensure its samples are reaching their target demographic, but also hopes the odd machines will draw in consumers as well. According to Charlotte Maumus, PR rep for Kraft:

"Temptations is the first Jell-O dessert made just for adults, so it makes sense that this breakthrough technology dispenses free samples to adults only. Showcasing the future of how consumers could interact with products and sample more easily, if the machine detects a child, it will shut down, asking the child to step away from the machine. But if it detects an adult, then a tasty sample is dispensed."

It's probably a good measure to prevent unmonitored children from taking more than their fair share of pudding cups, but there's definite potential for at least one super villain to be born out of this.

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13 comments
Schmerdtz
Brilliant! Train all your future customers to hate your company. Actually, it\'s worse than that:
Mom at supermarket: Bobby, you want some Jello dessert?
Bobby: Naw...I don\'t think I want any more Jello.
Mom: Why?
Bobby: \'cause I hate \'em; their pudding machine told me to \"get lost\".
mhmm
With the above poster\'s logic, kids would hate cars and choose not to drive when they reached the legal age to do so. They\'re CHILDREN... Kids don\'t boycott things they can\'t have. They wish, hope, ask, or scheme to get it.
More likely scenario:
Bobby: Can I have some of the pudding in that machine?
Mom: Sure I\'ll get you some.
agulesin
I can see kids wearing halloween masks as they approach the machine...
And I thought kids were more effective at persuading their parents to buy something than direct advertising... :-))
Samantha Renault
What? Adults need special adult pudding? Haha, if you can\'t eat pudding cause pudding is for \"children\" then I think you need to relax and grow up. The picture on the box makes it look pretty tasty though. It\'s a good avertising tactic think of all the free publicity this is getting.
Ricky
In Europe they had vending machines that sold cigarettes. They used the same technology. Do you know what the kids did? they brought a picture, a newspaper, a movie cover. There were reports of the many different ways to trick the camera. THIS IS FOR PUDDING, who cares?
alcalde
Wouldn\'t it be cheaper to pay human beings (with built-in child detection!) to hand out pudding than to buy these custom-made pudding vending machines?
That said, I\'m sitting back and awaiting the first lawsuit by a dwarf denied pudding because their features don\'t match that of standard-size adults.
Ed Reed
I can see these devices being used for vending machines for age legal things like alcohol and cigarettes if they could be accurate enough. I doubt they could ever get real specific due to other influences on maturity or growth like hormones and diet.
alcalde
The parents might buy it... just as they\'re the ones who buy toys... but it\'s quite probable it\'s the kids that want it. In that sense, this might backfire.
YukonJack
As a former child who had adult tastes if, I were to have been told by this machine that I was not old enough to buy from it I would have disabled this machine so no one would be able to sample it\'s food. Oh yeah, I was smart enough as a child to figure out how to disable a stupid machine. Not all children are ignoramuses.
samsoltan
You can\'t have pudding, if you don\'t eat your meat! It\'t just another brick in the wall.