You’re in a nightclub and spy a ridiculously good-looking member of the opposite sex across a crowded room. And while that person seems unattached, your delivery of pick-up lines is appalling (obvious from your lack of partners). So, what do you do? You grab your high-tech bottle of Medea vodka, pull up a chair at the person's table let them read your “message on a bottle”. Honestly, I can’t think of another reason for having an LED ticker on bottle. “Happy birthday” doesn’t cut it, nor does "Hello, my name is ... ", but for the shy or clumsy, a well though-out digital message could be just the thing to get you over the line. The only problem is … you need to be sober to program the darn thing.

While the recipe for Medea vodka comes from the 18th century, the electronic ticker on the bottle is straight out of the 21st. The makers say it entices drinkers to release their inner poet, inner philosopher, or inner flirt.

The bottle can store and display up to six messages with 255 characters each as long as you follow the (simple?) instructions below – watch the video below for a better understanding.

Assuming you’ve sampled one or two glasses of the contents of the bottle … Step 1: Press the ON/OFF button – not too difficult.

Step 2: Press the ENTER button to enter programming mode – fairly simple.

Step 3: Press the P-U (UP) to select line (1-6) to save message in – getting harder.

Step 4: Press ENTER to confirm the line where the message will appear – it’s around here somewhere.

Step 5: Press the P-U and P-D buttons to find the first character of your message, and press ENTER to save after each character selection. Note: space can be found after the letter Z. – People are starting to stare at you “playing” with your bottle. Don’t make a mistake because you have to start again unless you want a message like: “YOU HAVE LIVELY HARI”. Be quick or your intended date may leave before you can finish punching in the letters.

Step 6: To finish, after you have selected the last character, wait until you see a blinking “A”, then press the ON/OFF to save the entire message. – Shouldn’t have had that third drink. Can’t find the darn button. Alone again, naturally.

But, if you’ve mastered the coding, you’re all set! Your message will now begin to scroll on the ticker.

The battery in the bottle should last around 40 hours which means hundreds of messages (and quire possibly knockbacks) as long as you don’t leave it on constantly.

You can scroll through your six pre-programmed messages by pressing the P-U and P-D buttons when the display is turned on (which may save time and embarrassment).

Each message will run for three minutes before automatically turning off. Deleting and editing are not currently possible. You will have to start your message over.

Remember, there’s no spell-checker on a vodka bottle so be careful or it could spell your doom.

MEDEA vodka is readily available for around US$40.