A study comparing people in monogamous relationships with those in non-monogamous ones has found that both types are on par insofar as relationship and sexual satisfaction are concerned. It suggests the need for greater recognition of and respect for diverse relationships.
For a long time, monogamy – the practice of maintaining a single, exclusive sexual and/or emotional relationship – has been the social norm in the West and the standard by which all other relationships have been judged. Whether influenced by culture, religion, or morals, monogamous relationships are often perceived as “normal.”
However, a new study looking at relationship and sexual satisfaction across a range of relationship types has questioned monogamy's dominance and demonstrated that other relationships can be just as satisfying.
“Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion and trust than non-monogamous ones,” said Associate Professor Dr Joel Anderson, the study’s lead author and a principal research fellow at the Australian Research Center in Sex, Health, and Society (ARCSHS) situated at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia. “This widespread belief – what we term as the ‘monogamy-superiority myth’ – is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives.
“Our findings challenge this long-standing assumption outside of academia, providing further evidence that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships experience similar levels of satisfaction in their relationships and sex lives as those in monogamous ones.”
Non-monogamous relationships include various types of consensual arrangements, such as open relationships, where couples maintain romantic but not sexual exclusivity, and polyamory, where several romantic relationships occur simultaneously.
As far as the researchers know, theirs is the first meta-analysis of the evidence comparing relationship and sexual satisfaction as a function of “relationship orientation,” that is, monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. In addition, they explored sub-groups within the data, comparing satisfaction between heterosexual and LGBTQ+ participants, different types of non-monogamous relationships, and different dimensions of satisfaction such as trust, intimacy, or commitment. The researchers analyzed data from 35 studies – a total of 24,489 participants – conducted between 2007 and 2024 in the US, Canada, Australia, Portugal, Spain, Italy, or across multiple countries.
In terms of relationship satisfaction, the results showed that, overall, there was no significant difference between non-monogamous and monogamous individuals. And this effect didn’t differ significantly between straight and LGBTQ+ folks or when comparing non-monogamous relationship types, such as open and polyamorous relationships. A small number of studies looked at specific components of relationship satisfaction and found no significant differences between monogamous and non-monogamous individuals when it comes to commitment, intimacy, and passion.
The overall effect for differences in sexual satisfaction between monogamous and non-monogamous couples was found not to be significant, suggesting that non-monogamous people were just as satisfied with their sex lives as monogamous people. As with relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction did not differ as a function of sexual identity (straight vs LGBTQ+) or non-monogamous relationship type.
“Romantic and sexual satisfaction significantly contribute to our overall well-being,” Anderson said. “These results call into question some of the common misconceptions about non-monogamy. Despite our findings demonstrating comparable satisfaction levels, people in non-monogamous relationships often face stigma, discrimination and barriers to accessing supportive healthcare and legal recognition.”
The researchers proposed an explanation for their findings.
“Our theory as to why these findings have occurred, perhaps, is down to what we’d argue is the most common issue in relationships – and certainly the most common factor in relationship breakdown – infidelity,” said Anderson. “People in non-monogamous relationships often have agreements with their partners which mean infidelity isn’t a relevant factor in their relationships, whereas it is naturally [a] heartbreaking experience for those in monogamous relationships.”
The study has limitations. Namely, that the use of self-reporting may have introduced bias and that the predominantly Western sample population means that generalizability might be limited. Despite these limitations, Anderson says the study is important for shining a light on the need for inclusivity.
“This study highlights the need for more inclusive perspectives on different relationship structures,” Anderson said. “Healthcare professionals, therapists, and policymakers must recognize and support diverse relationship structures rather than assuming monogamy as the default or ideal.”
The study was published in The Journal of Sex Research.
Source: La Trobe University
Monogamy is overwhelmingly the dominant system, but other models exist, like the Muslim polygamous one, but it isn't very good for the status of women. Polyandry is much less common.
Polygamy tends to entrench male power, as does polyandry with female power. It seems to me we have enough problems just negotiating stable and equitable sexual relationships one to one, without complicating matters any further.
When one is young, all things seem possible, including having multiple serial and contemporaneous sexual relationships. But when people get older and more serious about what sex is really for, one relationship is plenty. Being married to one person and making it last the distance is really hard work, unless of course one party has all the power and everyone else obeys and puts up with it.
In extremely moral societies, where the non-monogamous relationships are highly formalized, IE Polygamous MARRIAGES, it works better. But just having a polyamorous relationship doesn't work as well. Even under the best of circumstances, jealousy, and the need to indulge in something "new" or novel, especially over the long time spans wins out, and causes problems. And with perceived or real infidelity comes violence, neglect, abuse, and crime.
Like anything that satisfies natural biological drives or gives physical pleasures, it feels good for the immediate moment, but over a decade or longer, the ill effects become very obvious. Wives fall in and out of favor, wives get jealous, the husbands become dissatisfied with what they have and look for someone new to add to the family, and the relationships fall apart. Even in many of the religious communities that practice it.
It's not great for kids' well being in nearly all circumstances and doesn't work well as a multi-generational strategy. You might get a lot of immediate kids, but not necessarily a lot of Grand Kids or great grand kids, except, again, in the strictest of religious circumstances, and in those situations, the tightness of societal expectations and the strictness overcomes much of the pleasure and excitement until it's a wash as far as "satisfaction" goes. Typically, as parents pursue their own satisfaction and pleasure, kids get pushed to the side, aren't taught how to have healthy relationships themselves, and then, don't.
It is a very natural thing, to have polyamorous relationships, but what makes humanity successful as a species is when we rely on "supernatural" morals to become civilized beyond simple biology and animalistic instincts. Monogamy is the hardest, and it's the ideal, for good reason. It pushes men to become more than just animals, and women to be more devoted to their husbands to maintain the relationship, and both grow up and mature in ways that few (if any) other philosophies can dream of. And the children who learn from these parents become the most well adjusted and the most likely to have healthy relationships of their own.
As marriage goes, so goes civilization. Polygamy is still practiced in many parts of the world, but I don't think anyone outside those societies holds them up as any sort of model society to work towards.
When looking at 'research', particularly in relation to heavily contested areas like sex and gender, one needs to understand that the devil is in the detail and in the design of the project.
There are always prejudicial biases, but you have to look for them.
Social 'science' is always underlyingly values based, which is why most of its output doesn't last beyond a generational cycle.
One needs to be on principle skeptical about research like this. It lacks depth in terms of what the gender politics of various gender arrangements really are. or how they are likely to pan out over a generational cycle....which is a much bigger and longer term investigative project.
This might be more a of a reflection of changing societal norms than real relationship (more than sexual) satisfaction, particularly long term, lifelong. What happens over a period of decades to “satisfaction?”
The study author comes from a minority subclass of society. “I am a social psychologist whose primary interests revolve around LGBTQ health and well-being, and a focus on group processes and intergroup relations.” There could be no agenda. And the study was published, not in a broad-based psychology/sociology journal, but rather “ The Journal of Sex Research.” (If sexual satisfaction was the focus, that *might* be OK, but then the importance of the study to relationships is greatly reduced.)