What happens when a three-ton sport utility packs eight-cylinder muscle combined with a plug-in hybrid system and a luxurious interior ... with no regard for fuel economy? Well, the XM is what happens.
At a glance
- It wants to be everything to everyone all the time
- Elicits only love or hate. No in between
- If you’re going to buy, price should be no object
During a week of driving the huge, Vader-like BMW XM in black, the responses it elicited from various people had no gray area. Ranging from “Eat it, Greta, this is AWESOME” to “Who authorized this monstrosity on the planet,” the exclamations from people were universally polarized. More so than with most any vehicle I’ve driven to date.
I call vehicles like this “Michael Jackson rides.” People either love them or hate them. Their responses are visceral and clear. There’s no room for any kind of “meh” in there.
The BMW XM is a huge SUV with a powerful 4.4-liter twin-turbocharged V8 under its hood and a plug-in hybrid system consisting of a 19.2 kWh battery and electric motors. An eight-speed automatic transmission is standard, as is all-wheel drive. Total system output is an eye-popping 644 horsepower (474 kW) and 590 pound-feet (800 Nm) of torque. The whole package weighs just over 6,000 lb (2,722 kg). You can get one in Sith Lord black, Storm Trooper white, or a combination with red details that upgrades those looks to a more Moff Gideon kind of style.
Whatever you do with those colors, though, the fuel economy returns still won’t break into the 20s. The XM in its “standard” packaging is rated at 17 mpg (13.8 l/100km) on the highway. Our testing saw returns more in the 15 mpg range. And the 31-mile (50-km) EPA-estimated all-electric range was also a pipe dream. Our best was 25 (40 km) .. although that may be due more to our inability to resist shoving the right foot down whenever possible. This behemoth, for all its inefficiency, is a powerful and fun bit of European muscle.
Reading BMW’s marketing materials, the XM is all about having no compromise. It’s muscular, it’s large, it’s powerful in both looks and appeal, and it’s a plug-in for the environment. It’s everything for everyone, if you harken those missives. The reality? This is Western excess at its finest.
Everything about the XM is about a deep-down love affair with opulence and power. That kind of thing is enormously appealing. It’s the reason so many go into politics with grand ideas of changing things and end up becoming part of the elite instead. There’s no denying the power of the dark side.
And this year, there’s a Label Red option that, well, adds red accents to that massive appeal. And even more muscle. Upping that V8 to 738 horses (543 kW). Just in case you needed more than what’s already there. Because why not?
The price tag for all of this German muscle and lavishness starts at about US$160,000 and goes up. Quickly. That extra 80-ish horsepower with the Label Red will cost you another $25,000. Never mind the other options offered.
The thing is, it’s hard to hate the BMW XM. Everything about it seems wrong. It’s very imposing. It’s very inefficient. Its engine is loud. Its interior is lavish beyond the normal posh. Yet ... it’s such a joy. All that power kind of grabs you by the pudenda and makes for excitement. It makes F-bombs feel inadequate.
In short, the BMW XM is so excessive that it’s gone past hypocritical ridiculousness and into the realm of demi-godliness normally only reserved for elitist pontificates. And it’s hard not to love it for that.
Product page: BMW XM
