The Apocalypse Juggernaut: Your 850-hp 6x6 bro-mobile of the day
Florida company Apocalypse 6x6 has carved out an interesting niche for itself, taking the most offensively massive Yank tanks on the market, expanding them in all directions, adding more wheels and selling them for insane prices, presumably to the kind of people that wear wall-of-text t-shirts fantasizing about what they'll do to you if you treat their daughter wrong.
Witness its latest creation, the Juggernaut, which takes a one-ton RAM truck as its base. Not the motor, mind you, that's ditched immediately for an 850-horsepower, supercharged 6.2-liter V8 Hellcat donk, because the kind of people that shop for cars at Apocalypse don't tend to prioritize fuel efficiency.
Apocalypse builds its own 6X6 drive systems, and while some of its models allow you to switch off the front wheels, the Juggernaut here is all wheels, all the time. They're beefy wheels, too; 40-inch off-roaders hanging in space on 22-inch SFJ rims, under comically cavernous ruggedized wheel arch cutouts that create a squealing visual dissonance against the rather conservative standard RAM doors. It's like a two-way automotive mullet: business in the middle, party at the front and the back.
It doesn't matter. This car isn't supposed to look good. It's supposed to look scary and intimidating and slightly loco, reinforcing the driver's sense of alpha maledom and calling down buckets of liberal tears at a rate only coal-rollin' country boys can match. This is bad-boy cosplay on wheels, black on black, with a great big awkward steel "grumper" – that's a grill and bumper all in one, you see, but it reminds us here of a face that's already been punched one time too many.
Not to mention the rear bumper, a stack of sandwiched metal plates that are probably designed to look tough and industrial. But Apocalypse seemingly managed to bend them out of shape before they took their press photos, so instead they add a charming flimsy wonkiness to the look, the back end slants downward with a roll-lock cover over the bed, marking this thing as the anti-Cybertruck. And when you press the button to open or close this cover, a brash siren is activated so that passers-by can pity you and resolve never to miss their sons' baseball games.
It's got 20,000 lb (9,070 kg) of towing capacity, should the nearly nine feet (~2.5 m) of cargo bed prove insufficient. It's got off-road credentials in the form of locking differentials and raised, long-travel suspension. Indeed, as part of Apocalypse's essential vehicle testing, they jumped it 10 ft (3 m) in the air at least 50 times. We'd suggest owners go for at least 20 or 30 feet, unless they're scared or something.
This is the biggest and most luxurious of Apocalypse's offerings, with a cabin the company says will comfortably seat a seven-footer – whichever way you measure that, we'd assume. There's a Harman-Kardon audio system, panoramic sunroof, power steps and a birds-eye camera and parking sensors to help you precisely position this thing across four disabled spaces at the mall.
I'd say this thing's standard paint job should be the stars and stripes, but the Juggernaut doesn't need an American flag. There's no question where this vehicle comes from. The American flag should just be a picture of one of these in front of the Disney castle, with a pair of crossed AR-15s and a lead-poisoned bald eagle.
The name couldn't be more appropriate. Its very existence in a world that understands climate change drives home the fact that we're all riding an apocalypse juggernaut whether we like it or not; a massive, creeping force of destruction and annihilation, carrying a colossal amount of momentum that makes it near-impossible to stop. At least this Apocalypse Juggernaut's got really good brakes, I guess.
Yours for a hair under US$300,000. Enjoy the "world debut" video below, in which this classiest of conveyances puts its 850 horsepower to pitch-perfect use, ripping donuts in an innocent-looking grassy field.
Source: Apocalypse 6x6