Automotive

The Apocalypse Juggernaut: Your 850-hp 6x6 bro-mobile of the day

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You didn't make those tire marks did you, Apocalypse Juggernaut?
Apocalypse 6x6
You didn't make those tire marks did you, Apocalypse Juggernaut?
Apocalypse 6x6
It has no mouth. And it must scream.
Apocalypse 6x6
Nearly 23 feet (7 m) front to back, the Juggernaut has a weirdly unmodified midriff that stands out like a cello player on stage with Kid Rock
Apocalypse 6x6
The rear "bumper" didn't even make it to the photoshoot without getting bent
Apocalypse 6x6
Push-button roll cover opens to reveal just under 9 feet of cargo bed
Apocalypse 6x6
A 6.2-liter, 850-horsepower supercharged Hellcat V8 should be enough to overcome the extra rolling resistance here
Apocalypse 6x6
One struggles to imagine many sales beyond the USA and Saudi Arabia
Apocalypse 6x6
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Florida company Apocalypse 6x6 has carved out an interesting niche for itself, taking the most offensively massive Yank tanks on the market, expanding them in all directions, adding more wheels and selling them for insane prices, presumably to the kind of people that wear wall-of-text t-shirts fantasizing about what they'll do to you if you treat their daughter wrong.

Witness its latest creation, the Juggernaut, which takes a one-ton RAM truck as its base. Not the motor, mind you, that's ditched immediately for an 850-horsepower, supercharged 6.2-liter V8 Hellcat donk, because the kind of people that shop for cars at Apocalypse don't tend to prioritize fuel efficiency.

Apocalypse builds its own 6X6 drive systems, and while some of its models allow you to switch off the front wheels, the Juggernaut here is all wheels, all the time. They're beefy wheels, too; 40-inch off-roaders hanging in space on 22-inch SFJ rims, under comically cavernous ruggedized wheel arch cutouts that create a squealing visual dissonance against the rather conservative standard RAM doors. It's like a two-way automotive mullet: business in the middle, party at the front and the back.

Nearly 23 feet (7 m) front to back, the Juggernaut has a weirdly unmodified midriff that stands out like a cello player on stage with Kid Rock
Apocalypse 6x6

It doesn't matter. This car isn't supposed to look good. It's supposed to look scary and intimidating and slightly loco, reinforcing the driver's sense of alpha maledom and calling down buckets of liberal tears at a rate only coal-rollin' country boys can match. This is bad-boy cosplay on wheels, black on black, with a great big awkward steel "grumper" – that's a grill and bumper all in one, you see, but it reminds us here of a face that's already been punched one time too many.

Not to mention the rear bumper, a stack of sandwiched metal plates that are probably designed to look tough and industrial. But Apocalypse seemingly managed to bend them out of shape before they took their press photos, so instead they add a charming flimsy wonkiness to the look, the back end slants downward with a roll-lock cover over the bed, marking this thing as the anti-Cybertruck. And when you press the button to open or close this cover, a brash siren is activated so that passers-by can pity you and resolve never to miss their sons' baseball games.

It's got 20,000 lb (9,070 kg) of towing capacity, should the nearly nine feet (~2.5 m) of cargo bed prove insufficient. It's got off-road credentials in the form of locking differentials and raised, long-travel suspension. Indeed, as part of Apocalypse's essential vehicle testing, they jumped it 10 ft (3 m) in the air at least 50 times. We'd suggest owners go for at least 20 or 30 feet, unless they're scared or something.

The rear "bumper" didn't even make it to the photoshoot without getting bent
Apocalypse 6x6

This is the biggest and most luxurious of Apocalypse's offerings, with a cabin the company says will comfortably seat a seven-footer – whichever way you measure that, we'd assume. There's a Harman-Kardon audio system, panoramic sunroof, power steps and a birds-eye camera and parking sensors to help you precisely position this thing across four disabled spaces at the mall.

I'd say this thing's standard paint job should be the stars and stripes, but the Juggernaut doesn't need an American flag. There's no question where this vehicle comes from. The American flag should just be a picture of one of these in front of the Disney castle, with a pair of crossed AR-15s and a lead-poisoned bald eagle.

One struggles to imagine many sales beyond the USA and Saudi Arabia
Apocalypse 6x6

The name couldn't be more appropriate. Its very existence in a world that understands climate change drives home the fact that we're all riding an apocalypse juggernaut whether we like it or not; a massive, creeping force of destruction and annihilation, carrying a colossal amount of momentum that makes it near-impossible to stop. At least this Apocalypse Juggernaut's got really good brakes, I guess.

Yours for a hair under US$300,000. Enjoy the "world debut" video below, in which this classiest of conveyances puts its 850 horsepower to pitch-perfect use, ripping donuts in an innocent-looking grassy field.

Source: Apocalypse 6x6

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10 comments
Daishi
I like how it's possible to see something like this and accurately stereotype the people responsible down to the daughters future "daddy issues" lower back tattoo.
Jinpa
What does the EV version go for?
kwalispecial
Appropriately named. "100% of every purchase contributes directly to the climate apocalypse!"
Ben Samways
Ahh Loz, you so frequently make me chuckle. Good stuff.
ljaques
Hah! Here, hold my gold AK and watch THIS!
BlueOak
“ They're beefy wheels, too; 40-inch off-roaders hanging in space on 22-inch SFJ rims, under comically cavernous ruggedized wheel arch cutouts that create a squealing visual dissonance against the rather conservative standard RAM doors.”

Nailed it. How do the people with the resources to do one of these vehicles not have the good sense to also realize they are lacking the design skills to carry it off? shiny paint aside, this truck looks like someone cobbled it together in their backyard pole barn. I want the customer list.
Erik
It's not really ugly, I find the cybertruck way more ugly. I wouldn't want this though a normal truck is better.
TpPa
That slanted topper or whatever it is ruins the whole truck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rest of it is sweet!
TpPa
OK, I take it back, wheel wells, dumb, front bumper looks like they forgot to finish it at the end, back bumper - why? Gold rims nah, just doesn't cut it, nice engine though
SplineDoctor
Darth Vader on wheels?
Actually, it would be a useless scrap soon in the coming collapse, because of the lack of fuel. :D