Automotive

Brabus 900 Rocket Edition stakes a claim as the world's fastest SUV

Brabus 900 Rocket Edition stak...
The Brabus 900 Rocket Edition is a souped-up Merc allegedly capable of 330 km/h
The Brabus 900 Rocket Edition is a souped-up Merc allegedly capable of 330 km/h
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The Brabus 900 Rocket Edition is a souped-up Merc allegedly capable of 330 km/h
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The Brabus 900 Rocket Edition is a souped-up Merc allegedly capable of 330 km/h
Would sir like some rocket red Jesus bars?
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Would sir like some rocket red Jesus bars?
0-100 kmh in 3.2 seconds is quick, as long as there's no Tesla bros about
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0-100 kmh in 3.2 seconds is quick, as long as there's no Tesla bros about
24-inch forged wheels are standard, you'll need to go to the 23s to tackle a top speed run though
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24-inch forged wheels are standard, you'll need to go to the 23s to tackle a top speed run though
Based on a Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S 4MATIC + Coupe
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Based on a Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S 4MATIC + Coupe
Somebody's kid got loose with the lipstick in here
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Somebody's kid got loose with the lipstick in here
A 900-horsepower, twin-turbo Brabus V8
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A 900-horsepower, twin-turbo Brabus V8
Back seats: sometimes a necessary evil
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Back seats: sometimes a necessary evil
Everything that could be made rocket red has been
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Everything that could be made rocket red has been
Yay, more rocket red
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Yay, more rocket red
Vents and knobs get a soothing coat of rocket red
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Vents and knobs get a soothing coat of rocket red
The exterior has been thoroughly carbonated
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The exterior has been thoroughly carbonated
Stainless steel exhaust system can be set to quiet or loud depending on how much you like your neighbors
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Stainless steel exhaust system can be set to quiet or loud depending on how much you like your neighbors
Brabus claims this hotted-up AMG GLE is the world's fastest SUV
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Brabus claims this hotted-up AMG GLE is the world's fastest SUV
View gallery - 14 images

Behold, ye fast, ye foolish, ye fiscally blessed and ye family laden. Brabus has deigned to furnish worthy garages with a 900-horsepower GLE-based SUV capable of 330 km/h (205 mph). This should be sufficient for most trips to the shops, no?

Even the wealthiest supercar owners can't avoid dragging luggage around forever, particularly in the form of squabbling crotch-fruit. These necessitate back seats, preferably ones with a bit of headroom for when you're strapping them in, letting them out or attempting to address the sticky biowaste they distribute liberally across anything they can reach and many things they can't.

Thus, there are fast SUVs. The Lamborghini Urus. The Bentley Bentayga. And if there's going to be fast ones, there'll be a fastest one. Lister said it owned the title for a while there with a hotted-up Jaguar F-Pace capable of 322 km/h (200 mph), but now Brabus says its 900 Rocket Edition is the new king of the hill.

Stainless steel exhaust system can be set to quiet or loud depending on how much you like your neighbors
Stainless steel exhaust system can be set to quiet or loud depending on how much you like your neighbors

Honestly, it's a pretty loose thing to call. Both Brabus and Lister sell spruced-up versions of other companies' production cars. Neither have bothered to go and test their top speed as far as we're aware, and even if they did, they wouldn't come close to Toyota's Land Speed Cruiser, a 2,000-horsepower, specially built Goliath that managed 230 mph (370 km/h) back in 2017.

So this is really merely a spec-sheet bench race between high-end car tuners who'll sell you a build for exorbitant money. But whatever, the Rocket Edition would certainly inject some spice into most people's daily drive.

Starting out with a Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S 4MATIC + Coupe, Brabus upgrades it with a 4.5-liter twin-turbo V8 engine making 900 horses (662 kW) and 1,250 Nm (922 lb-ft), mated to a nine-speed auto transmission. A stainless steel exhaust system with active valves lets you go from quiet and legal to shouty and antisocial at the touch of a button.

Based on a Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S 4MATIC + Coupe
Based on a Mercedes-AMG GLE 63 S 4MATIC + Coupe

The 0-100-km/h (0-62-mph) sprint takes 3.2 seconds, so while it'll take a nibble or two out of a Tesla Model Y's lunch, you'd want to pretend you didn't see the guy in the Model S grinning at you at the lights. You'd want a fair bit of clear bitumen ahead of you if you wanted to prove your fastestness against anything with Ludicrous or Plaid mode.

The wheels are replaced with forged units – 24-inchers by default, or 23-inchers with high performance tires if you actually have any ambitions to shoot for the electronically-limited top speed. Likewise, the suspension is yoinked out and replaced with a "BRABUS Airmatic Sports Unit" that can squat the car down a whole 25 mm (1 in) for drag reduction.

Both the interior and exterior get a comprehensive peppering with the old makeup shotgun. Carbon abounds, very few Mercedes logos are left intact, and Brabus has shown no mercy to anything that looked silver in the cabin. It's all been exhaustively removed and glazed in a savage "rocket red" that hammers your eyeballs with merry splashes of anger from every direction.

Somebody's kid got loose with the lipstick in here
Somebody's kid got loose with the lipstick in here

And it's all yours for a price starting at just €381,243 (US$446,000), over a hundred grand more than a base level Lambo Urus in the US. Hurrah! Enjoy seeing this thing driven slowly around the glamorous parts of town by a suitably bestubbled gentleman in the video below.

THE WORLD'S FASTEST SUV - BRABUS 900 Rocket Edition

Source: Brabus

View gallery - 14 images
8 comments
8 comments
geemy
still 0.7s slower than future model X plaid to 60 mph
yawood
What the hell is "squabbling crotch-fruit"?
BlueOak
Let’s see, the buyers of this class of vehicle clearly are all about show, so…

This ugly aftermarketed Benz for US$450,000 or…

Lamborghini Urus for $225-250,000, or
Bentley Betagya for $185-200,000?

Could do two of each of the latter or one of each of the latter the $450,000 price… and end up with more “show”!
Norman Bouchal
Yawood - an extremely obscure term denoting offspring, had to Google it. I’m guessing the origin is British?
Username
@yawwod , seems pretty self explanatory. I'll assume you understand the term "squabbling". So let's move on to "crotch-fruit". As in the fruit of your crotch. As in the fruit of your seed. As in kids.
Jesse Robert Allen
Kids Yawood, kids! The fruit of our loins. My question is what parent is going to hand the keys to a beast like this to their sixteen or seventeen year old inexperienced driver? What possible use is a vehicle like this on the daily school run? Really who is qualified to drive any vehicle on public roads at 205 miles per hour? The Ultimate Nicheless Vehicle
paleochocolate
@geemy still slower than the car I'm releasing right after Tesla launches the model X plaid "anytime now".
Demosthenes
"This should be sufficient for most trips to the shops, no?" Sure, if you get the entrepreneurs to build their shops at the race tracks.