'Tis the season to think about ensuring your well-being in a fresh, new year. So why not cocoon yourself in a punishing SUV that looks like a colorful cinder block on wheels? The Prombron Black Alligator is the latest option in Dartz's stable of SUVs so ostentatious even the most shameless of dictators and oligarchs must blush a little when driving in public. The package drenches the 2016 Mercedes-AMG GLS63 in carbon, Kevlar, alligator skin, and, for those who need a little protection from the cruel world outside, Kevlar-titanium armor. Also available for buyers: 1,600 hp and a cascade of precious stones.
You might not recognize it under all that sharp-cornered bodywork, but in the belly of the great black 'gator rests the Mercedes-AMG GLS63 and its biturbo V8. Dartz offers engine upgrades in several levels: 760, 850, 1,100 and 1,600 hp. That last option gives the Black Alligator a little more bite than even the 1,500-hp Black Shark.
The exterior, too, is a customer-guided affair, so long as the customer wants "unabashedly extreme and aggressive." Dartz will overhaul the body with either non-armored Kevlar and carbon fiber, or bulletproof Kevlar-coated titanium armor.
From the first images, we see a big, brutal battering ram of a front-end, with modern touches like distinctive daytime running lights. Any sign of the GLS63's original curves have been erased by hard angles and strong, thick lines, the gentle Mercedes grille swallowed by something that looks more like a grate for heavy machinery. "Light" and "subtle" are words that will henceforth never be seen within four paragraphs of the Black Alligator.
The interior is where Dartz really gets reptilian, injecting the upholstery with real alligator sourced from beasts hunted down in the wilds of Mississippi. That scaly skin is mixed with exotic wood, diamonds and other opulent materials. Access inside that unique cabin is delivered by a personalized, hand-made key that ships inside a box dressed up like an airplane black box.
Dartz doesn't say how much all this natural and unnatural upgrading will cost, but for the huge majority of folks who can't afford the real thing, there will soon be another option. Dartz plans to launch a mobile game in conjunction with T-Bull, offering players the opportunity to take the wheel of six of Dartz vehicles, including the Black Alligator.
A video game actually seems like a more fitting destination than real streets for this odd-ball SUV package.
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