Automotive

Karlmann King: The world's most expensive SUV is a Ford F550 at heart

Karlmann King: The world's mos...
Karlmann King: a 40 grand Ford F550 with 2.16 million dollars worth of opulence piled on top of it
Karlmann King: a 40 grand Ford F550 with 2.16 million dollars worth of opulence piled on top of it
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Karlmann King: it's a Ford F550 commercial cab chassis, laden high with opulence
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Karlmann King: it's a Ford F550 commercial cab chassis, laden high with opulence
Karlmann King:  luxury interior in brown
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Karlmann King:  luxury interior in brown
Karlmann King: luxury interior in white
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Karlmann King: luxury interior in white
Karlmann King: luxury interior in whiter white
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Karlmann King: luxury interior in whiter white
Karlmann King: luxury interior in black
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Karlmann King: luxury interior in black
Karlmann King: luxury interior in purple.
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Karlmann King: luxury interior in purple.
Karlmann King: luxury interior in white and purple
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Karlmann King: luxury interior in white and purple
Karlmann King: luxury interior in white and gold
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Karlmann King: luxury interior in white and gold
Karlmann King: luxury interior in black, white and blue
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Karlmann King: luxury interior in black, white and blue
Karlmann King: for US$2.2 million, you'd think they'd be able to afford decent photos
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Karlmann King: for US$2.2 million, you'd think they'd be able to afford decent photos
Karlmann King: headlight design
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Karlmann King: headlight design
Karlmann King: a 40 grand Ford F550 with 2.16 million dollars worth of opulence piled on top of it
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Karlmann King: a 40 grand Ford F550 with 2.16 million dollars worth of opulence piled on top of it
Karlmann King: awkward rear angle
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Karlmann King: awkward rear angle
Karlmann King: awkward side angle
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Karlmann King: awkward side angle
Karlmann King: half decent looking elevated three quarter angle might be the best it gets
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Karlmann King: half decent looking elevated three quarter angle might be the best it gets
Karlmann King: the view the peasants will get as they bow before your passing
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Karlmann King: the view the peasants will get as they bow before your passing
Karlmann King: may have some off-road capability, but you'd be gutsy to take one out on the trails
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Karlmann King: may have some off-road capability, but you'd be gutsy to take one out on the trails
Karlmann King: the world's most expensive SUV. So far.
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Karlmann King: the world's most expensive SUV. So far.

Only in a world of extreme inequality is it possible to build things of enormous beauty and magnificence. Think of the architecture we'd have missed out on if it wasn't for the kings and pharaohs of old. Think of the music and the majestic spaces we'd never have if the Catholic church wasn't loaded to the teeth. Think of what humanity loses if the Medici family didn't have offensively large piles of dosh to throw at humble painters and sculptors.

Flatten the hierarchy, scream the modern marxists. What, do you wish to tear down the soul-elevating magnificence of the achievements of inequality, and replace them with the crushing brutality of Communist concrete and marching songs?

It is rampant inequality that brings us today's subject, as well. The most expensive SUV in the world. And all its performance figures pale into insignificance beside the one number that counts. 2.2 million. That's how many U.S. dollars you'll need to light on fire to buy the Karlmann King.

Karlmann King: may have some off-road capability, but you'd be gutsy to take one out on the trails
Karlmann King: may have some off-road capability, but you'd be gutsy to take one out on the trails

And if the achievements of the old world that delight us today stand tall on their extraordinary levels of accomplishment, technical mastery and sheer, awesome beauty, the Karlmann King stands even taller on a pedestal of furious, flesh-tearing onanism.

Under the skin, it's a Ford F550 commercial cab chassis, complete with a lightly warmed up version of the standard 6.8-liter V10 engine that boosts it up to 398 horsepower. Which would be a moderately decent amount of poke if it didn't have to drag either 4,500 or 6,000 kilograms around (that's 9920 or 13,230 pounds) depending on whether it's been bulletproofed or not.

Top speed is thus a paltry 87 mph (140 km/h), so you'd better stay out of the fast lane in certain jurisdictions. But who cares? You and your grubby sacks of money won't be in the driver's seat anyway. You'll be in the back, tooling about with the Playstation or the satellite TV, popping overpriced champagne out of the built-in fridge and watching the electric armrests go up and down as you fiddle with the many touch-screen options at your disposal.

Karlmann King: luxury interior in purple.
Karlmann King: luxury interior in purple.

The interior decor has to be seen to be believed. Available in a bunch of different color schemes, it's best described as looking like the cabin of a galactic Sheikh's personal space ship, complete with a luminous night sky design on the ceiling and color-matched LED lighting throughout.

An interior so finely detailed and luxurious makes a stark contrast to what the outside world sees. The Karlmann team claims it was attempting to make a road-going stealth bomber. What they actually achieved is a brutal, angular Bat-SUV looking thing of awkward and ungainly proportions. It's as if the owner is selfishly hoarding all the nice stuff for himself on the inside, and punishing the peasants for their crime of being born poor by making them look at the exterior. Real stealthy, team.

Only 12 will be made – hopefully because there's only 12 fools in the world rich enough to throw two and a bit mil at a 40 grand Ford with 2.16 million dollars worth of rank narcissism piled on top of it.

I am not against wealth, or the monumental works it can enable in the right hands. But I am against this. Watch the video below:

Karlmannking complete video

Source: Karlmann

7 comments
Critical Critic
Great article Loz. Beautifully written and actually states an opinion. So tired of the sites (looking at you MSN) which use bots to scrape all their articles together. It is refreshing to read an article my someone who can actually write so eloquently and delivers an informative and fun to read piece which isn't a simple copy and paste from a brochure and doesn't read like a paid for advert. My favorite part "a 40 grand Ford with 2.16 million dollars worth of rank narcissism piled on top of it" lol, love it!
JGTinNJ
Author is clearly afflicted with an overdose of envy..
Nelson Hyde Chick
How small does a rich man's penis need to be that he buy this 2.2 million dollar penis extender?
Supervolant
Even though I am a bit on the side of the author... I really demand unbiased articles where you in fact feel no opinion at all. That was no good read at all and you can feel the authors poor mindset trough the screen, literally. Please be in future opinion free and just keep on doing as new atlas used to with informative articles free of any opinion about the given subject.
Tom Lee Mullins
I think that is really nice. I think there will be a many who will want that. It would be nice to see them being driven around.
WilliamSager
Watch the resale value of these SUV's to plummet and outside the Ford drivetrain, the seller will default on the warranty.
Craig Jennings
Spot on. It's an extravagant piece of automotive "sculpture", entirely subjective so why would NewAtlas readers care about that? Might as well report on the latest spring trends from the Paris runways. Why were you punished so Loz? Who have you upset to deserve such a task? :)