Good Thinking

Here's what you're not getting for Christmas in 2019

Here's what you're not getting...
New Atlas takes a look at some of the things you won't be getting for Christmas this year
New Atlas takes a look at some of the things you won't be getting for Christmas this year
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The Arkup #1 ultra-luxury two-story houseboat
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The Arkup #1 ultra-luxury two-story houseboat
Water views aren't a problem on the Arkup #1
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Water views aren't a problem on the Arkup #1
Home is where you drop anchor with the Arkup #1
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Home is where you drop anchor with the Arkup #1
The 301-inch C Seed 301 is as a big as all outdoors – at least, that's where you'll need to put it
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The 301-inch C Seed 301 is as a big as all outdoors – at least, that's where you'll need to put it
The screen of the C Seed 301 is made up of seven panels, allowing the TV to fold up and retract into the ground
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The screen of the C Seed 301 is made up of seven panels, allowing the TV to fold up and retract into the ground
Ramsmobile's RM-X2 is intimidation vehiclified
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Ramsmobile's RM-X2 is intimidation vehiclified
No regular ol' doors for the RM-X2
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No regular ol' doors for the RM-X2
Angular on the outside, comfy on the inside
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Angular on the outside, comfy on the inside
The RM 25-01 Adventure tourbillon chronograph with design input from Sylvester Stallone
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The RM 25-01 Adventure tourbillon chronograph with design input from Sylvester Stallone
A handy water purification tablet storage compartment ... for when you need a water purification tablet
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A handy water purification tablet storage compartment ... for when you need a water purification tablet
A built-in spirit level to help keep the compass level
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A built-in spirit level to help keep the compass level
New Atlas takes a look at some of the things you won't be getting for Christmas this year
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New Atlas takes a look at some of the things you won't be getting for Christmas this year
The Royal Version 001 is 2.3 m (7.5 ft) high
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The Royal Version 001 is 2.3 m (7.5 ft) high
The Royal Version 001's maximum speed is 62 knots (71 mph/113 km/h)
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The Royal Version 001's maximum speed is 62 knots (71 mph/113 km/h)
The Royal Version 001 starts at €250,000 (roughly US$285,000)
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The Royal Version 001 starts at €250,000 (roughly US$285,000)

It doesn't matter how nice you've been this year or how much you bribe Santa with milk and cookies, there are some things you just shouldn't bother putting on your Christmas wish list. Continuing our Christmas tradition of taunting you (and ourselves) with examples of over-the-top opulence that crossed our desk during the year, here's our selection of things you won't find under the tree come December 25.

A taste of Royalty

The Royal Version 001 is 2.3 m (7.5 ft) high
The Royal Version 001 is 2.3 m (7.5 ft) high

Are you someone who enjoys a sprightly jaunt on the water, but simply can't abide that ever so tedious salty spray? This might be the just watercraft for you ... or possibly not, depending on whether you have a spare quarter of a million euros lying about. The aptly named Royal Version 001 is a jet-powered capsule fit for well-heeled James Bond types that combines luxurious trimmings with what looks like loads of fun.

Seating nine people in its plush interior, the Royal Version 001 can hit a noisy 62 knots (71 mph) courtesy of its dual Yanmar diesel engines or cruise quietly at a leisurely 12 knots (13 mph) using its electric motors.

If you're looking to dispense with diesel entirely, entertain more friends and spend great deal more money, we recommend waiting until Sinot's spectacular hydrogen-powered Aqua superyacht concept gets off the drawing board.

A 25-ft big screen TV for your deck

The 301-inch C Seed 301 is as a big as all outdoors – at least, that's where you'll need to put it
The 301-inch C Seed 301 is as a big as all outdoors – at least, that's where you'll need to put it

Television might still be referred to as "the small screen" but C Seed has sought to relegate such terms to the cathode ray tube of history ever since unveiling its 201-inch outdoor TV in 2013. The company followed that up in 2017 with a 262-inch 4K widescreen TV, but outdid itself this year by announcing the 301-inch C Seed 301.

For those of you used to TVs topping out at about 85 inches and struggling to comprehend the size of C Seed's offering, it translates to a diagonal width of 25 ft (7.6 m) – so outdoors is probably the best place for it. But the TV won't dominate the deck at all times as its seven panels fold into a central column that retracts into the ground. And you had better make sure on placement though because moving this thing isn't going to be easy.

Even those with a bank balance that can withstand a hit of "around US$1.5 million" won't find the C Seed 301 under the tree this year – and not just because it won't fit. The TV isn't available until mid-2020.

A house to float away on

The Arkup #1 is a luxury floating home that can raise itself on hydraulic stilts
The Arkup #1 is a luxury floating home that can raise itself on hydraulic stilts

Who hasn't wanted to pack everything up and sail away from their troubles to the sounds of Christopher Cross? The Arkup #1 lets you do just that without the pesky packing everything up part. It's a two-story ultra-luxury houseboat that can reach speeds of 7 knots (13 km/h, 8 mph) thanks to two 100-kW (134 hp) electric azimuth thrusters.

And once you find a place to settle down – for the night at least – you can deploy the home's hydraulic stilts to keep things stable or lift the house above the water line to avoid any waves. A 36-kW solar panel array will keep the home powered up off grid while rainwater collected from the roof will keep you hydrated.

Unfortunately, the $5.5-million price tag is likely to put a dampener on any dreams you may have of sailing away this Christmas.

A face only a mother could love

The RM 25-01 Adventure tourbillon chronograph with design input from Sylvester Stallone
The RM 25-01 Adventure tourbillon chronograph with design input from Sylvester Stallone

Today, your choice of timepiece can serve as a symbol of elegance and style, and what could be more stylish and elegant than a watch co-designed by Sylvester Stallone? Sly was enlisted to help design the RM 25-01 Adventure tourbillon chronograph by Richard Mille and the result definitely owes more to Rambo than Rocky. Sitting on a camouflage rubber strap, the watch packs numerous features that will come in handy on any POW camp assaults, including a compass, spirit level and water purification tablet storage compartment. Of course, the watch will also keep time.

The Rocky-inspired watch, unlike the film franchise, is a limited edition run and is priced at a box-office breaking $983,000.

An SUV for the well-heeled survivalist

No regular ol' doors for the RM-X2
No regular ol' doors for the RM-X2

Perfect for the person with a boot-load of cash they don't want anyone else getting their hands on, Ramsmobile's RM-X2 is an SUV that would definitely turn heads when picking the kids up from soccer practice. Supposedly offering 999-horsepower of grunt in a vehicle that could tip the scales at as little as 1,500 kg (3,300 lb), depending on how liberal a dashing of carbon and titanium is specified, this beast of a thing doesn't just ride on four wheels – there's a single caterpillar track that can be deployed from the center of the undercarriage to add a bit more grip on tricky terrain.

A maximum of 12 orders will be taken with pricing starting at $999,999 for the "Ascetic" base model. But that will quickly head north if you want to stump up for optional extras like the electronic hookah system – we're not joking.

So what's the most outlandish thing money can (or can't) buy you've seen this year? We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Merry Christmas!

3 comments
DavidB
More evidence that a large bank account doesn’t convey good taste or common sense.
buzzclick
Were any of these delectable goodies on special on Black Friday? We love to buy things we don't need because they're on discount. 20% off! You save 250,000 doll hairs on that Chronocrap watch (as AvE would say). Think about it. You "save" money by spending less on something you could do without, but gotta have. Now that's clever marketing.
Grunchy
You can make a floating house way cheaper than that, I've seen them out at False Creek in Vancouver and other docks around the world. Just get an old pontoon boat (or two), and you're sorted.